Haunted
by Cross D'Aubigne
Summary: WARNING! VERY DISTURBING FIC! Songfic to Evanescence's Haunted


Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei, nor any of its characters. I do not own Evanescence, not the lyrics for "Haunted".  
  
WARNING!!!  
  
This fic is VERY creepy and disturbing. It deals with rape and inner torment. READER DISGRESSION IS HIGHLY ADVISED.  
  
Dear Readers,  
  
If you hate me for writing this, I understand. I hate myself for it too. But, can you blame me? There wasn't enough 100% Tsuzuki angst on FF.net, so I wrote one.  
  
A special thanks you to, Terra, for being the first person to review my first Yami no Matsuei fic. I appreciate it. ^_^  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Lady Hiten, the Fox of the Night.  
  
Rating: R for rape. NO, it is NOT a lemon. So don't give me any crap about that. Summary: Songfic to Evanescence's "Haunted". Tsuzuki's point of view as Muraki is having his way with him.  
  
THIS FIC HAS A BETTER EFFECT IF YOU LISTEN TO THE SONG WHILE READING IT!! But then again....maybe you don't want a better effect.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
~~ Long lost words whisper slowly to me ~~  
  
Your voice uttered words of veneration as you tied me, your new prisoner down loosely to the floor. Your words of coldhearted devotion rolled off of your tongue to my unwilling ears. You're grayish eyes glint lustfully at me, wanting me ever more by the second.  
  
~~ Still can't find what keeps me here ~~  
  
'Why do you remain, passing through Meifu and Earth,' I asked myself once, 'knowing that this will happen. You can't escape him unless either he dies, or you pass on. If you pass on...this will all end and you will be able to see Ruka again. So, why do you remain?'  
  
I don't know. Perhaps I will leave...if I can get out of here alive. I know I am already dead, but it is still possible for me to die on the inside. If that.....when that happens, I might as well be rotting in the soil with my old body.  
  
I wish I could die, right now.  
  
Why do I remain?  
  
I don't know.  
  
But I won't anymore, after this.  
  
~~ When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
  
I know you're still there ~~  
  
I feel empty inside -hollow. You have left for a moment, but I know you're still here. I must have passed out while you were tormenting me with those glistening knives[1].  
  
As if on cue, the door opens and you once again appear. Muraki....why do you do this to me?  
  
I sob as you reach for me, groping me in places that not even the Earl dares to touch.  
  
~~ Watching me wanting me  
  
I can feel you pull me down  
  
Fearing you loving you - (A/N: *cough* HATING YOU!!! *cough* ....Boy! There sure is a terrible cough going around huh?? ^_~ )  
  
I won't let you pull me down ~~  
  
You watch me as you pine for my body; you're lust is my downfall. I knew you were there, waiting for me to leave Meifu...you're always there, waiting for your chance to take me. You found it.  
  
You're pulling me down to you, using me as a toy. A doll: A doll that you can play with, break, then discard when you're finished with me.  
  
I fear you; I hate you, I resist you.  
  
I won't let you pull me into your depths of despair!! I don't want you to!! I can't let you!! I'm struggling still, even as you are above me, kissing me, telling me I'm beautiful.  
  
That's all I am, your beautiful doll.  
  
~~ Hunting you I can smell you - alive ~~  
  
your heart pounding in my head ~~  
  
You're still alive. After all that we have done to destroy you, you're still alive!! You're haunting me, you bastard!! I see you in my dreams and feel you're hands on me when I am awake.  
  
I can hear your heart pounding as you press yourself atop me. My own heart beats painfully as I try again to escape. My efforts are wasted.  
  
~~ Watching me wanting me ~~  
  
You watch me as I squirm against your touch.  
  
"Please," I beg you. "L-let me go..."  
  
"I can't do that my love," you reply, kissing my nose. "I want you now, more then ever, Tsuzuki."  
  
I try to scream, but only a choked sob escapes from my lips.  
  
~~ I can feel you pull me down  
  
saving me raping me watching me ~~  
  
I struggle to get away from you, but you pull me down and pin me to the floor. My please for you to release me are disregarded with a sickening smile.  
  
I tried to block off my senses so I could not see, feel, nor hear what is happening to me. My body betrayed me, and I froze as I felt your hand undo my belt, and rip my pants off. You spread my legs and move between my thighs; I scream and struggle against my bonds.  
  
"Hold still, Love," Muraki says when we are both bare. "If not, I won't be gentle."  
  
"LET ME GO!!!"  
  
"I'm release you, my love...when I'm done," you whisper and shove yourself into me.  
  
~~ Watching me...wanting me  
  
I can feel you pull me down ~~  
  
I'm crying again. How I hate to cry in front of you. I hate to show you my weaknesses.  
  
Muraki...you bastard. You're groaning and grunting like a pig in your ecstasy!!  
  
"STOP!!!" I shriek. I regret that.  
  
All of my screams excite you more and you hasten your movements, pushing and pulling into me, making my hips rock to-and-fro.  
  
I WANT TO KILL YOU!!!  
  
You reach your breaking point inside of me, and scream my name; my forever condemned name in your pleasure.  
  
I WANT TO DIE!!! THIS TIME I NEVER WANT TO COME BACK!!  
  
~~ Fearing you...loving you (a/n: HATING!!!! LOATHING!!!)  
  
I won't let you pull me down ~~  
  
Terror.  
  
I'm scared to death.  
  
My mind drifts as I lie on my back, spread eagle and bleeding from where you dug your nails into my arms, as you take your leave.  
  
I fear you.  
  
I fear your eyes, your touch, even your damned coat sends chills up and down my spine.  
  
I won't let you drag me to the nethermost point of despair.....I can't let you.  
  
Perhaps though......I already did.  
  
To Be Continued....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I love rock. Especially angsty rock songs!! *Headbangs* WHOO!!  
  
[1] Knives..My favorite method of torture. Use a few little ones or a big one for the same, ultimately brutal effect. Knives are awesome. With the quickest movement you can cut open the largest gash and spill the blood of either your self or others. You will read about knives often in my fics.  
  
Lyn, if you're reading this, I didn't do anything, so don't worry.  
  
I may make a sequel to this fic. If I do, Tatsumi will rescue Tsuzuki and try to drag him out of a deep, DEEP depression. I don't really want to make a happy ending, but we'll see where it goes from here. 


End file.
